Sunday, April 29, 2007

brief hiatus

Unfortunately, the EVIL JOHN show will have to take a brief hiatus because one of it's starring players is recovering from back surgery. That's right, the one and only C. Angus Floyd (pictured above), the hardest working cat in show business will be taking time off from his budding film career. We here at the EVIL JOHN show feel that there really wouldn't be a show without the wit and wisdom he brings to our productions.

If you would like to send your thoughts, prayers and/or treats to Angus, please comment on this blog post. All comments will be read to Angus and if possible he will dictate a reply.

And don't worry, as soon as Angus is back on four feet, the show will go on.

Thank you,


the team here at the EVIL JOHN show resents the fact that you think we've run out of ideas.

we know that blooper shows suck.

we were too busy being EVIL this week to get out a real show.

it was this or nothing? would you rather have nothing?

look, it's a day early.

you people are so demanding, ok, fine, you'll get a new episode next week.

i thought we were evil, you people are mean and ungrateful!

also available on youtube at

also available at itunes <- this link will open iTunes on your computer.

episode 4: clip

regular JOHN's thirst for fame has hit a new low.

... now with 75% less crack!

also available on youtube at

also available at itunes <- this link will open iTunes on your computer. EVIL JOHN OUT!

episode 3: plumb

you are going to have to decide if this week's video is safe for YOUR work.

hint: i don't want to make too many cracks about regular JOHN, but in the end, he is an ass.

also available on youtube at

also available at itunes <- this link will open iTunes on your computer.


episode 2: sugar

i'm back and EVIL-er than ever. this weeks episode sheds a little light into why regular JOHN can't shed any pounds.

also available on youtube at

also available at itunes <- this link will open iTunes on your computer. logan, and others, this and all past, present and future videos are and will be ipod compatible. (the person who screwed that up has been fired.) EVIL JOHN OUT!

episode 1: cats

what EVIL JOHN SEZ really hurts regular JOHN. and EVIL JOHN couldn't care less. wanna know bad things about JOHN that only his EVIL twin would know? check back often. and hey, add comments about how much you hate JOHN, i'm sure there are tons of you out there that are sick of his bulls@#t.

also available on youtube at

also available at itunes (this link will open itunes on your computer.)

Thursday, March 15, 2007

it's late!


do you know where your know where your twins are?

on 3/21/07, you will!


find out more at

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Still Thinking...


i'm still thinking about rJ's offer...

but to tide you over, here's a portrait of rJ (by his wife) that will illustrate what i have to deal with.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

And the 'winner' is:


did you know that regular JOHN should be awarded? shut up, gramaratical police, i know i said awarded. do you think i would ever say regular JOHN should be rewarded? if so, you’re stupid. how stupid? regular JOHN stupid.

you’ve heard, i assume*, of the genius grants. “oh unrecognized genius type person, you’re so smart and insightful and you have so much potential, here’s some money, quit your day job and go out there and do something even more genius.”

no, of course, rJ shouldn’t get one of those. he should get a mediocre grant. what? you never heard of those? no kidding, bright boy, that’s because EVIL JOHN just made it up – copyright, tm, patent pending.

what is a mediocre grant and how will it change our ‘friend’ regular JOHN? well, the beauty of this grant is that he just pretty much keeps on doing what he’s been doing. or i should say not doing.

unremarkable – check!

run-of-the-mill, that is if he ever ran, slow-slouching-walk-of-the-mill – check!

garden-variety, but like a beet or some root vegetable, not a rose or a beefsteak tomato – check!

keep on at your day job, regular JOHN, don’t go out there and try hard and take risks… you don’t want to be disqualified for the first annual EVIL JOHN mediocre grant. get your acceptance speech ready, and don’t forget to thank the little people… little people like yourself!!!


*the first person to comment about “making an ass out of me” gets a crack in the muzzle!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Dull Butter Knife.


did you know that regular JOHN thinks he’s losing his edge? hardy f’n haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

i’m sorry, i just fell off my yoga ball i was laughing so hard. can round mounds of pinky-white, bald, corn-balls have an edge?

yeah, he’s edgy, he’s like the pudgy, albino love child of the michelin man and the pillsbury dough boy.

this kid’s an ah-ha song… and not “take on me.”

you wanna know how to get an edge? well if you have to ask, you’ll never know. you could start by copying everything that i do. then follow that by giving EVIL JOHN all of your money. and you know what, throw in that ipod. of course that won’t make you any edgier than you are now, but at least i’d finally have an ipod.


Monday, September 04, 2006

Weather Dominator!


oh, yeah!!!

here it comes:




look for more EVIL updates soon!


Saturday, March 18, 2006



did you know that regular JOHN is helping EVIL JOHN? and he doesn’t even know it?

don’t believe me? check this out:

a. regular JOHN hits the snooze button on his alarm clock, b. it inflates a balloon that slowly tips over an iron on a cat with a piece of buttered toast strapped to it’s back, c. the cat flies in the air, d. because a cat always lands on it’s feet and a piece of buttered toast always lands face down, they both spin indefinitely, E. the spinning forces air into a tube that drops a baseball into a f. pitching machine, g. the baseball smashes a window, h. the shards of glass fall on carefully positioned dominoes, i. the dominoes climb up the stairs until one falls, J. on a button which sends a post to!

that was easy!