Sit and Sin!

EVIL JOHN SEZ:

did you know that regular JOHN has a demon toilet seat? look at this thing it has an apparation of some kind of pug or cat or something. i can't even crap at his house... i'm EVIL and it freaks my shit out. okay, technically it freaks my shit in. you get the idea.

EVIL JOHN OUT!

Streisand!

EVIL JOHN SEZ:

did you know that regular JOHN hates liberals? i mean who doesn’t… but the funny thing about regular JOHN is that he is a liberal, and he won’t even deny it. what he hates is other liberals and their liberal-er than thou attitudes. regular JOHN separates his recyclables and votes in the useless local elections. the kid whines locally and bitches globally.

you ever want to see regular JOHN implode? tell him you don’t even own a tv. tell him you think meat is murder and that animal testing is genocide. sure he doesn’t wear fur but throw cans of sweat on him if he buys a t shirt from walmart. (i don’t even know if i get that one.)

of course EVIL JOHN is a republican, that’s one of the things that makes me evil. i voted for george w. bush twice, and that was just in one election. (thank you, ohio!)

EVIL JOHN OUT!

Blue Moon!

EVIL JOHN SEZ:

did you know that regular JOHN wishes he had blue hair so bad? ‘so bad’ is right, it would look ‘so bad’ on him. as i’ve mentioned before he is so not punk. i think that’s why he wants to dye his hair blue. he never did it when it was age appropriate so now he’s grasping at some ‘escape back to your youth’ bullshit. nevermind the fact that he’s a corporate clown. nevermind the fact that he’s a thirty-one year old, married, condo owner. nevermind the fact that he’s bald.

can you imagine those wispy, non-hairs on the top of his head being blue? i can. in fact if i don’t finish this post it’s because i’ve died laughing. i’d love to see a blue half-headband that semi-circles around a pink skin-yalmuka. kinda like that star wars character but sad and so not punk.

go ahead regular JOHN and dye your hair blue, or red, or green, the world could use a little more laugher… EVIL laughter!

EVIL JOHN OUT!