EVIL JOHN SEZ:
did you know that regular JOHN doesn’t like fireworks? this guy must be half french. is there anything more all american than fireworks? it’s on that list with the loving apple pies and hot moms… strike that, reverse.
he sez that after a few explosions and bright lights, it’s pretty much just more of the same, and it lasts too long. that’s funny from a guy who loves action movies because “he loves when shit blows up.”
okay regular JOHN, where do i begin? firstly, it’s free you ingrate. not only are you getting shit blown up in real life, right in front of you, but it doesn’t cost you any more than the grass stains on your ass, as you sit and watch the free show.
secondly, it’s too long? now you’re complaining that the free shit is taking up too much of your precious time? what the hell are you going to do with this lost 20 minutes of your pathetic life? are you going to NOT write? NOT update your blog? NOT do housework? NOT get off the couch?
somehow you seem to NOT do all of these things when you’re already NOT watching fireworks.
thirdly, move to canada! we don't want you... the sad thing is i don't think they want you either.
you know what, the french can’t be all that bad, it seems they like bright lights and blowin shit up too.
EVIL JOHN OUT!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
No Retreat! No Surrender!
EVIL JOHN SEZ:
did you know that regular JOHN used to beat up his little brothers? i’d like to see him try that shit now. neither of his brothers is little anymore. sure when you were 14 and they were like 10 and 11 you were one bad mother scratcher. you were king of the hill. those were the days… and those days have passed.
now you don’t dare mess with those guys. they’d break you. they’d make you their bitch.
man, i’d pay to see that.
comeuppance! the karma express, next stop regular JOHN. what comes around is gonna kick your ass. sweet revenge is a bitch best served cold.
you get the picture. the EVIL picture!
for the record, regular JOHN never beat up EVIL JOHN. he knows better. EJ is a master of several of the deadly martial arts. as a kid rJ had a yellow belt in karate.
try me!
EVIL JOHN OUT!
did you know that regular JOHN used to beat up his little brothers? i’d like to see him try that shit now. neither of his brothers is little anymore. sure when you were 14 and they were like 10 and 11 you were one bad mother scratcher. you were king of the hill. those were the days… and those days have passed.
now you don’t dare mess with those guys. they’d break you. they’d make you their bitch.
man, i’d pay to see that.
comeuppance! the karma express, next stop regular JOHN. what comes around is gonna kick your ass. sweet revenge is a bitch best served cold.
you get the picture. the EVIL picture!
for the record, regular JOHN never beat up EVIL JOHN. he knows better. EJ is a master of several of the deadly martial arts. as a kid rJ had a yellow belt in karate.
try me!
EVIL JOHN OUT!
Friday, November 04, 2005
Call for Evil!
EVIL JOHN ASKZ:
are you an EVIL twin? tell me about your unbearable lesser half. does he/she chew her/his toe nails? like jean claude van damme movies? vote democrat?
only tell me the true stuff, that's all i say about regular JOHN and that's all i'm interested in hearing about.. i can tell if your lying. it's an EVIL twin thing. ask mary-kate!
just add a comment, get it off your chest, speaking of chests:
did you know that regular JOHN has a hairy chest. yeah, that would be magnum p.i. sexy if it wasn't flabby and covered in orange hair. i'm not saying rJ is a balding orangutan, he just looks like a balding orangutan. see, i'm not lying.
EVIL JOHN OUT!
are you an EVIL twin? tell me about your unbearable lesser half. does he/she chew her/his toe nails? like jean claude van damme movies? vote democrat?
only tell me the true stuff, that's all i say about regular JOHN and that's all i'm interested in hearing about.. i can tell if your lying. it's an EVIL twin thing. ask mary-kate!
just add a comment, get it off your chest, speaking of chests:
did you know that regular JOHN has a hairy chest. yeah, that would be magnum p.i. sexy if it wasn't flabby and covered in orange hair. i'm not saying rJ is a balding orangutan, he just looks like a balding orangutan. see, i'm not lying.
EVIL JOHN OUT!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Needs More EVIL Cow Bell!
EVIL JOHN SEZ:
did you know that regular JOHN hates classic rock? of course just like all things rJ, there has to be a caveat. you know, i didn’t even know what that word meant until this dung dropper said it once. don’t worry, i punched him for being a pretentious prick.
the caveat is that sure he loves the stones and the beatles and the who (a.k.a. oldies). no, this knucklehead hate seventies and eighties arena rock. arena rock = EVIL. the sex, the big guitar riffs, the drugs, the tight pants, the dead drummers.
belch a few lines of 'we’re an american band' around him and you’ll hear a rant about how real rock stars don’t have to sing a song about how rockin’ they are. give me a break, corporate wedding videographer.
“now, these fine ladies, they had a plan,
they was out to meetthe boys in the band the slouch with the video camera.”
i don’t think so.
when was the last time you helped “party it down”. never, and the worst thing about this hypocrite is that he grew up on 80’s hair bands. people who live in white lions shouldn’t go around throwing britney foxes.
EVIL JOHN OUT!
E.p.s. don’t be afraid, bitches, comment!
did you know that regular JOHN hates classic rock? of course just like all things rJ, there has to be a caveat. you know, i didn’t even know what that word meant until this dung dropper said it once. don’t worry, i punched him for being a pretentious prick.
the caveat is that sure he loves the stones and the beatles and the who (a.k.a. oldies). no, this knucklehead hate seventies and eighties arena rock. arena rock = EVIL. the sex, the big guitar riffs, the drugs, the tight pants, the dead drummers.
belch a few lines of 'we’re an american band' around him and you’ll hear a rant about how real rock stars don’t have to sing a song about how rockin’ they are. give me a break, corporate wedding videographer.
“now, these fine ladies, they had a plan,
they was out to meet
i don’t think so.
when was the last time you helped “party it down”. never, and the worst thing about this hypocrite is that he grew up on 80’s hair bands. people who live in white lions shouldn’t go around throwing britney foxes.
EVIL JOHN OUT!
E.p.s. don’t be afraid, bitches, comment!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Evil Night, and Evil Luck.
EVIL JOHN SEZ:
did you know that regular JOHN doesn’t know anything about computers? i mean sure he can turn the damn thing on, who can’t. he can download porn and send and email or two. but ask him to fix a little bug or set it up to edit video or some semi-complicated thing like that and he throws his hands up and has a hissy fit. he turns bitch.
viruses, spy-ware, .dll errors… the kid can’t get rid of pop ups to save the hair on his chiny-chin-chin!
that’s why i’m still using some crappy blog template on a free service.
i know what you are saying, ‘hey, EVIL JOHN, didn’t regular JOHN set up this blog for you? thusly, you also don’t know jack sprat about computers.’
what are you some kind of regular JOHN sympathizer? the edward r. murrow of defending blacklisted computer idiots?
you, sir are out of order!
i’m too busy being EVIL to figure this crap out. a sign of a really EVIL bastard is the ability to delegate. look it up!
EVIL JOHN OUT!
did you know that regular JOHN doesn’t know anything about computers? i mean sure he can turn the damn thing on, who can’t. he can download porn and send and email or two. but ask him to fix a little bug or set it up to edit video or some semi-complicated thing like that and he throws his hands up and has a hissy fit. he turns bitch.
viruses, spy-ware, .dll errors… the kid can’t get rid of pop ups to save the hair on his chiny-chin-chin!
that’s why i’m still using some crappy blog template on a free service.
i know what you are saying, ‘hey, EVIL JOHN, didn’t regular JOHN set up this blog for you? thusly, you also don’t know jack sprat about computers.’
what are you some kind of regular JOHN sympathizer? the edward r. murrow of defending blacklisted computer idiots?
you, sir are out of order!
i’m too busy being EVIL to figure this crap out. a sign of a really EVIL bastard is the ability to delegate. look it up!
EVIL JOHN OUT!
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