EVIL JOHN SEZ:
did you know that regular JOHN should be awarded? shut up, gramaratical police, i know i said awarded. do you think i would ever say regular JOHN should be rewarded? if so, you’re stupid. how stupid? regular JOHN stupid.
you’ve heard, i assume*, of the genius grants. “oh unrecognized genius type person, you’re so smart and insightful and you have so much potential, here’s some money, quit your day job and go out there and do something even more genius.”
no, of course, rJ shouldn’t get one of those. he should get a mediocre grant. what? you never heard of those? no kidding, bright boy, that’s because EVIL JOHN just made it up – copyright, tm, patent pending.
what is a mediocre grant and how will it change our ‘friend’ regular JOHN? well, the beauty of this grant is that he just pretty much keeps on doing what he’s been doing. or i should say not doing.
unremarkable – check!
run-of-the-mill, that is if he ever ran, slow-slouching-walk-of-the-mill – check!
garden-variety, but like a beet or some root vegetable, not a rose or a beefsteak tomato – check!
keep on at your day job, regular JOHN, don’t go out there and try hard and take risks… you don’t want to be disqualified for the first annual EVIL JOHN mediocre grant. get your acceptance speech ready, and don’t forget to thank the little people… little people like yourself!!!
EVIL JOHN OUT!
*the first person to comment about “making an ass out of me” gets a crack in the muzzle!
