EVIL JOHN SEZ:
did you know that regular JOHN is afraid of bridges over water? what the hell kind of fear is that? if you've ever seen him drive over one it's hilarious. he gets in the middle lane, drives real slow, doesn't talk to anyone one and stares straight forward. his knuckles get all white from gripping the wheel and i don't think he breathes. (which is trouble on your longer bridges.)
and don’t ask him to tell you about it. i made that mistake once and i couldn’t shut his ass up.
here’s a brief run down of what he said, ‘first you’re in a car and you might crash and die or you might survive, then you might hit the guard rail and die or you might survive, and then you might go over the guard rail and fall into the water and die or you might survive, and then get trapped in your car and you might die or you might survive, and then you somehow get out of your car and you freeze to death in the water or can’t get to shore in time and you might die.’
does your EVIL head hurt? mine does. i might be EVIL but i think regular JOHN is disturbed, and not in that ‘i’m so deep and people don’t get me’ way, more in that that ‘i probably have piles of bodies in my basement’ way.
EVIL JOHN OUT!
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3 comments:
EVIL JOHN RESPONDZ:
i haven't checked his shorts but i believe the cape cod canal scares him shitless... meaning he has no more shit because he shit himself.
is that clear?
EVIL JOHN OUT!
Being afraid of going over bridges is GAY! But not half as gay as people who make fun of people who are afraid of going over bridges.
his worst fear was comfirmed on a trip to portland, or. he learned of a woman who not just six months ago was driving across a steel bridge, talking on her cellphone, when her pathfinder lost control, broke through the railing and plummeted into the willamette river...and she survived! all JOHN could do was go on about each detail of the accident, too.
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